Sometimes when I’m riding on the trains and looking at the backs of tenement buildings, I think I’m somewhere in the middle of a book set in turn of the century Asia.  Other times, when I’m walking in the streets that are lined with neon store signs, I think I’m in a postcard scene.  And when I’m on a bus, crossing Love River in Kaohsoing and I see the effervescent lights twinkling in the somewhat clear night I, I think I’m in a fairytale. 

I spent most of my day thinking about Kristen.  I thought about her last weekend when some friends came down and will think of her again when more company comes to visit next weekend.  I miss having her here to share thoughts and jokes.  I miss having her where I don’t have to worry about her.  Sorry Kris, I know you’re grown, but I’m still mommy!  She’s in Atlanta taking care of business and I’ll know she’ll be OK.  Better than OK!  I know she and I both need to get out of our own way and do what we need to do so we can embrace all life has to offer us.  Get out of our own way. 

It’s like when I was in Cameroon in Korup National Park. We’re in the rain forest and of course…it was raining.  I kinda have this fear of heights.  I was able to do the rope bridge to get into the park but I could NOT would NOT do the tree bridges to cross the ravines.  You know, huge logs that fell across these deep cuts into the earth and the only way to the other side was to walk on these logs.  HEck no, I wasn’t doing that!  I was scared hsitless!!  Then, this stranger takes me by the hand and leads me across.  OK, so he was experience and confident, but why would I have more faith in this stranger than in myself? 

I made it back and forth over about 7 or 8 of those bridges and after just a couple of them, after I realized what I had done, I realized I hadn’t wanted to cross simply because of my own fear.  I was holding myself back. 

So, why mention this here?  Good question.  Maybe I need to step a little more out of the pictures I’m living in.